


Sunshine

by archaicacid



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Bottom Erwin Week, Brazilian Eren, M/M, Prompt: Vacation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-21
Updated: 2015-06-21
Packaged: 2018-04-05 12:05:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4179204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/archaicacid/pseuds/archaicacid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erwin tends to overwork himself until he meets a boy that's nearly half his age.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sunshine

It's entirely too hot for a suit, but Erwin rolls up his sleeves and hopes for the best. His jacket is over his arm, and he can feel the sweat rolling down his back--maybe even a sunburn spreading across his face.

His meeting broke for lunch and as soon as he had walked outside the building, he had absolutely no idea what to do with himself. The beach is close, but Erwin feels out of place; this is becoming less and less of a vacation than he planned with barely any time to himself or to relax. Opening a new location in Brazil had sounded...more relaxing than what it was turning out to be.

But business is business, he supposes.

He sits on a small wall near the office building and runs a hand through his hair. The gel doesn't feel as though it's holding up, but he just needs it to last another two hours or so.

A sound catches his attention, like wheels rolling hard across concrete. Skateboarders, probably, he's seen them around. He doesn't pay much attention to them until they finally roll close.

One of the boys stops in front of him, bare chested and bright eyed and Erwin's throat goes dry.

"Lighter?" The boys asks, motioning to his mouth. Of course he would try for English, Erwin's pale and out place and sweating in his suit. His English is somewhat rusty, but he's sure he can manage to keep the conversation going.

"Ah, yes, one moment." He holds up one hand and digs through his pocket with the other, biting his tongue in concentration. The boy steps off his board and holds it against him. Erwin thinks _boy_ because that's all he looks to be. He isn't that tall, and even though his shoulders are broad and his stomach has definition, his face look so young. It's almost off-putting, but Erwin admits he's attractive, and almost feels bad for doing so.

When he passes the lighter off, the boy winks and Erwin has to hide his reaction.

"Grato."

"Of course. No problem." His English feels stiff, but he sees the boy smiling at him as he lights his cigarette.

"I thought you were American." He holds on to the lighter and Erwin stares at his hands, wondering if he'll actually get it back.

"No. Not American. German. Is my accent so bad?" Erwin laughs, somewhat self-deprecatingly. 

"It's cute."

Everyone who had skated alongside the boy in front of him has wandered off, not that Erwin had really paid much attention to the other kids. Kids...he catches himself again. He honestly has no idea of their ages, but he can't seem to help these sort of thoughts.

"Aren't you a bit young to say something like that?"

"I'm nineteen. So no."

In a way, Erwin’s right, not too far off from boy, but that sounds a bit condescending. Still, Erwin wheezes, covering it up with a cough that's a gentle as he can muster because he's turning 37 this year and it’s entirely possible that, had he been reckless at 18, he’d have a child the same age.

“Not too young to be saying that to someone my age, I mean.” Erwin plays it off as best he can.

“Still no.” The smile that Erwin receives after that is bright white. The boy’s teeth aren’t perfectly straight, but it fits with the rest of him, with his messy hair easy going demeanor.

Erwin glances down at the watch on his wrist and curses softly. It was almost time for the meeting to restart, and it’d probably be best if he went to the bathroom and fixed himself up some before hand.

“I need to get going, my meeting starts again soon.”

The boys pockets his lighter and lets his skateboard smack against the ground. “I’ll give the lighter back tomorrow.”

“...Tomorrow, then. Right.”  Erwin doesn’t really feel like he can argue with that for some reason, but it isn’t exactly a complaint. He stands up and brushes himself off, feeling the dampness of his sweat sticking everywhere it shouldn’t.

“Not even going to ask my name?”

“Should I?” _Is this flirting_? Erwin wonders. He hasn’t done this in years, especially not with anyone almost half his age, and he feels like he’s treading water just from their simple interaction.

That earns him a nod and a broader smile.

“So?” Erwin prompts.

“Eren.”

Having a name makes Erwin feel infinitely better, even if he’s not entirely sure why. Maybe because it’s better than thinking of Eren as a number or just his age. A name means he’s able to avoid saying things like _I met a young boy_ even if their interactions have been, so far, entirely innocent. He ignores the voice that raises its eyebrow at _innocent._

“Erwin. Nice to meet you.”

“O prazer é meu.” Eren gives another small nod and skates off, looking behind him once and waving to Erwin. Erwin waves back, but as soon as Eren turns away, he holds his head in his hands and sighs. The second half of the meeting is going to go much too slow, he knows.

Lunch the next day is around the same time. The meeting had gone a few minutes over; they were in a good spot, drawing up contracts and discussing specifics, and no one really wanted to lose the momentum, so they’d kept at it.

Erwin sits in the same spot, tugging at his collar. There’ll be a ring around it when he takes it off back in his hotel, he knows. He at least remembered to forgo a jacket today, somewhat thankful for that, but even so, today is nearly 10 degrees warmer. The heat makes him forget about hunger, but he sips at the iced coffee he stole from the cafeteria--he’s not completely sure they were meant to be free.

He hears Eren's skateboard before he sees him, coming from the other direction today and actually wearing a shirt. Erwin feels a small pang of disappointment, but it doesn't hide much, anyway; the arms are cut wide open and when the breeze hits right, Eren's nipples show.

Maybe that's even worse.

Eren stops his skateboard and kicks it up, holding it against his thigh and leaning his weight on it.

The silence between them isn't awkward, but Erwin isn't sure if he should say hello first or let Eren do the talking--he seemed more confident than him yesterday. Erwin just stares, trying to keep his eyes focused on Eren's face, but no matter where he looks, it sends sharp heat to his belly--Eren is biting his lip with half lidded eyes and Erwin hates himself.

"You made it today." Normal enough conversation, Erwin thinks.

"I said I would. I don't like to lie." A smirk blossoms across his face. "Besides, I liked seeing you yesterday."

_Liked seeing_ , certainly doesn't mean their conversation was particularly interesting, because it wasn't. Erwin can't help but blush because he's fairly sure he knows the context Eren's speaking about. So he tries to choke out a thank you and Eren has to know exactly what effect he has, doesn't he? 

"Do I get my lighter back?" Rushing things is the opposite of what Erwin would like to do, but he's at a loss.

Eren just picks up his slack. "That depends." 

"On what, exactly?"

The smirk never leaves Eren's face, and if it did, Erwin never noticed. "If you take me out for something to drink."

Erwin pulls his collar away from his neck. It seems to be getting a little warmer, but it’s not the type of heat than he can ignore.

“Drinks? I suppose.” Erwin doesn’t want to stumble over any of his words and he’s almost proud when he doesn’t. “You’ll have to show me around, though.”

“No problem at all.” Eren grabs the collar of his shirt as well, but his actions seem much more fluid and confident, hanging both of his hands from it like he’s relaxing while his skateboard balances against his side with no support. He stares at Erwin for a beat before continuing. “What time are you free?”

“These things tend to end around 8 or so.”

“A little early, but I can do 8. Next time I’m making you bring something other than a suit, just so you know.”

_Next time_ rings loudly in Erwin’s ears like someone set church bells off less than three feet from him. It seems like an apt description, because they haven’t even done this once, and Erwin’s already childishly excited for this next time, whatever it is and wherever they go.

“I didn’t bring much aside from these suits.”

“You do look like you’re all business.” Eren laughs. “Find something. Go shopping.”

There’s no time left on the lunch break they’ve been given to shop around and surprise Eren for the night, but he’ll trying to make time this weekend and see what’s lying around in his suitcase or finally go shopping. All these thoughts run so quickly around him that he almost has to pinch himself to stop. _See what tonight is like first_ , he thinks, because even if this isn’t really a date, it’s the closest thing he’s had to one in years.

“I’ll meet you out here at 8, then?”

Eren winks and lets his hands go from his collar to grab his skateboard. “Sim.”

It’s as good a time as any to practice his Portuguese, so Erwin clears his throat. “Até logo.”

“That makes you sounds old.”

Erwin wants to be offended, but Eren’s laugh is sweet.

“I’ll see you later,” Eren drops his board to the ground and kicks off. He doesn’t turn around to wave this time.

..

Erwin is actually somewhat of a quiet drunk. He's not really drunk, though, just a little buzzed--head fuzzy, but pleasant and he's smiling.

Eren stands next to him at the bar, their height difference so apparent between them. He doesn't seem affected by the alcohol at all, but Erwin's not really sure how much he's had, anyway.

“I thought Germans could handle their beer?” Eren is not quite yelling, but the bodies and voices around them are loud and the music’s bass is making his body shake.

“I’ve had more than you, but I’m fine, you know. Hardly drunk.” Erwin raises his glass like a toast and takes a sip. They’ve chatted about uncomplicated things, a bit of Erwin’s work and a bit Eren’s friends. It all comes easy and not much of it can be blamed on the alcohol; Eren is a good conversationalist who keeps it going, has since they met outside of the business building.

Erwin forgets about their difference in ages more and more as the night goes on. Eren is Eren and he’s outgoing and pretty and Erwin feels almost unworthy, but Eren hasn’t left his side for hours, even when they lapse into a silence.

Whatever finally comes over Erwin is bold, but he doesn’t stop himself. He sneaks a hand around Eren’s waist and tugs him closer, tilting his head down to see Eren smile.

“That took you too long.”

“Oh? When was I supposed to do it, then?” Erwin is only a little bit shocked.

“As soon as we started drinking.”

“You could have asked.”

Eren eyes him like he’s a complete idiot. “You had trouble looking at me completely sober. But it’s more fun to see you do it on your own.”

Of course he had trouble. Erwin wanted to say that Eren’s intentions with him were completely innocent, but that would have been lying to both of them; it just took a few drinks for Erwin to let go of that and actually look at Eren how he wanted to.

“You do this often?” The question is posed with a small laugh, but it hits Erwin a little harder than it should as soon as it leaves his mouth. It shouldn’t matter either way, Eren’s not really any of his business, especially when he’s known him for less than two days, but it’s the feeling of being played that hurts.

“No. Everyone teases me because I only ever date friends.”

The sigh Erwin gives is not one of relief, he lies to himself, but Eren’s confession is actually sort of cute. He doesn’t say anything in return, choosing to hum and nod, because he feels whatever he might say would end up being wrong. Erwin doesn’t really have dating advice or many stories--the last serious relationship he was in ended around 26 and from then on he’d been too focused on business to do much else. It all sounds boring in his head.

Eren moves closer to Erwin’s side and loops an arm around him, settling a hand into Erwin’s pocket on his pants. It’s an intimate action, but Eren does it so easily that Erwin’s at a loss for words, as he’s been all night.

“How many more drinks is it going to take for you to kiss me?”

“Til I finish this beer, I think.” Erwin tilts his glass back and drinks as quickly as he can manage. The blush that’s across his cheeks is less from the alcohol and more so from Eren’s unabashed flirting that Erwin no longer has to wonder about.

The glass hits the bar with a thump, but Erwin isn’t sure what to do with himself. They’ve both still got their arms looped around each other and the warmth between them is growing.

“Bend down.”

Erwin tilts his head down and bends at the waist, trying to get himself closer to Eren’s height. As soon as he’s close, Eren grabs the back of his neck with his free hand and pushes their lips together. They both taste like beer, but the kiss is sweet, mostly chaste. Eren’s full lips are soft against Erwin’s own and pleasantly warm, biting at Erwin’s bottom lip playfully before letting go and pulling away.

Erwin stays hunched over, face still imperceptibly close to Eren’s and he doesn’t want to pull away, not yet, at least. Something swells in his chest.

“You could kiss me again.”

Erwin does.

Eren holds on to his hand as they walk back to Erwin’s hotel, making sure they don’t get lost. The streets feel different at night and Erwin is fairly certain that without Eren’s help, he’d have wandered off somewhere until daylight.

The buzz he had starts to wear off the longer they walk, but his belly is still warm and a little in knots. Probably because of Eren.

When the breeze begins to pick up again, Eren's tank top catches it and Erwin can't really help but stare when he sees dark nipples against already tan skin, hard from the cooling air. He looks away and shakes his head, giving Eren’s hand a squeeze.

Up ahead a few meters there’s a small alley that’s mostly dark. There aren’t any lights that shine in towards it, just around it, and as they approach it, Eren tugs on his hand to pull him in. It feels a bit risque to be doing this, but Erwin doesn’t object. It’s mostly adventurous, anyway; it’s not something he’s ever done, and when Eren pulls him down for a wet kiss, he relaxes easily into it.

Eren’s tongue pushes against his lips and Erwin opens them to let his tongue slip past. This is more aggressive than what they did back at the bar, but it also feels like something that Erwin wouldn’t want to do in front of anyone else, like this is just for them. All he can do is hope that his techniques aren’t too rusty or dated.

Making out with a 19 year old is making him feel incredibly self-conscious about these things.

Eren’s smiling when he pulls away and his teeth shine bright with the little light that makes it past the shadows. He reaches forward and runs a finger down the awkward curve of Erwin’s nose and under his eyes, finally petting down his cheek. It’s so gentle that Erwin stays still and decides not to comment on it, just letting Eren do what he likes.

“You never told me hold old you are.” The statement is laced with a question that Erwin hesitates to answer. His mind is still foggy, but he knows the implications still. “You don’t have to tell me, but I don’t really care.”

Erwin bites the inside of his cheek and settles a hand over Eren’s on his cheek. He has to tilt his head down to properly look Eren in the eyes, if not he just looks out at a point past Eren’s thick brown hair and that feels somewhat impersonal with their height difference.

“I’m 36, not far off from 37.”

Eren stands on his toes to give him a quick kiss. “Not so hard, right? Younger than I thought.”

Whether that’s a compliment or one that’s a bit backhanded, Erwin can’t entirely decide, but Eren’s front is nearly flush against his and his hands are warm and the rest doesn’t really matter.

..

Erwin wakes up with a slight headache, but it’s something he can work through, even if it’s not something he’s done since his mid-twenties. Besides, it could be worse.

Eren had dropped him off at the front doors of his hotel before smiling and making his way towards wherever he stayed each night, skin almost glowing underneath some of the lights. Part of Erwin knew he was getting a little too attached, but this was still a vacation in some form, at least on the weekends, and he could afford to change up his usual routine. If Eren decided to keep visiting him, Erwin certainly wouldn’t stop him as a welcome, handsome distraction.

He gets dressed lethargically, ignoring all the ties he brought and leaving the top few buttons of his collared shirt undone. There's no sense in trying to ignore the heat at this point. Breakfast is two pieces of toast that he grabs on his way out of the hotel as he runs a little late. He's not particularly worried about being reprimanded--meetings never start on time anyway.

Everything feels a little different today, but he doesn’t put his finger on it until he sees Eren during his lunch. He’d been looking forward to it, he realizes, he’d been expecting it, even.

Eren brings his own lunch today; Erwin can see the bag in his hands and he rolls towards him, closer and closer, on his skateboard. He lifts it up before he stops so Erwin can get a better look at it and laughs.

“Not sure if you’re sick of whatever they’re feeding you in there, but I made something.”

The gesture surprises Erwin, but he hides his reaction with a small smile. “That sounds much better, actually.”

Eren grabs at his hand and pulls him up. “Let me take you down to the beach, we can eat there.”

Of course Erwin can’t say no.

****..

They fuck for the first time nearly two weeks after they meet and Eren is as bold in the bedroom as he is in everything else. Eren visits him during lunch nearly every one of those days, always asking if it’s alright to see him when he’s finished with his work and Erwin only wishes there were more ways to say yes.

The sheets are sticky after they fumble around and Erwin is worn out, but he lets Eren hold on to him and kiss him until he has to catch his breath again.

“Don’t tell me you could go again.”

“Pode ser.”

Erwin raises an eyebrow. “I’ll take that as it’s possible.”

Eren shifts so he’s laying against Erwin’s side and he throws an arm across Erwin’s bare chest. The heat is a little uncomfortable, but neither mention it, and Erwin’s too tired to turn up the fan in his room. Even though it’s night by now, the humidity clings to everything and the temperature doesn’t cool.

“Will you spend the night here?”

Eren’s expression is hidden against Erwin’s chest, but there’s not much of a pause between the question and the answer he receives. “I was planning to.”

“Confident about that,” isn’t a criticism coming from Erwin, he mostly enjoys the things that Eren assumes about him, they’re positive things, ones that he’s sometimes too afraid to ask about. Eren seems so positive about everything that it’s even managed to spread to Erwin during his business dealings. With luck, it shouldn’t take much more than a month or two to get everything sorted out.

“Erwin?” Eren flicks at Erwin’s chest to get his attention.

“Ah, sorry, just thinking.”

Eren doesn’t press, just begins to run circles with his fingers across Erwin’s damp skin. When he gets to just above Erwin’s belly button, Erwin’s stomach muscles twitch.

Eren tries to tilt his head to get a good look at Erwin’s face, but in his current position, it just makes him look uncomfortable. He lays his head back against Erwin’s chest and closes his eyes. “I’ll remember that next time.”

It’s the last thing Erwin remembers really hearing, because when he opens his eyes, the sun streams through the small opening in the curtains, but the alarm he has set for each morning hasn’t gone off yet. He reaches as best he can in his position for his phone on the nightstand and turns it off so it doesn’t wake Eren up. He has 20 minutes or so to just lay here, anyway.

Eren snores softly against him, skin impossibly hot against Erwin’s under the covers, but Erwin can’t bring himself to move. The quiet comfort outweighs whatever else.

He tries to clear his mind and think of nothing, but he can’t help but focus on work. Scenarios run through his mind and he brainstorms, even if nothing he thinks of feels useful in their current business model. It makes the time pass quickly, and at five minutes til, Erwin tries to move from under Eren’s grip without waking him.

He succeeds, eventually, setting a pillow against Eren’s arm for him to grab in his sleep.

He gets ready fast this morning, showering and shaving and buttoning his shirt as though he’s running late. By the time he finishes with his routine, he actually has time for breakfast, but it isn’t really what he’s after.

On the bed, Eren is sprawled across his white sheets. They’ve been kicked around and at this point--they barely cover Eren’s back. The contrast of tan skin against the white makes Erwin’s breath hitch like it did last night with Eren straddling his waist. He wonders if a picture of this is too intimate, but he slides his phone from his pocket to take one anyway. It’s for him and him only--it won’t hurt.

There’s no way to contact Eren after he’s left, they still don’t have each other’s numbers and Erwin isn’t even sure Eren has a phone, so he settles on writing a note. There are a few pages left on the hotel stationery and he write his cell numbers in small blocky writing below _I’ll see you at lunch_. He isn’t sure what else he can say, so he leaves it at that, signing simply with _E_. Thanking Eren for the previous night sounds detached, so he’ll leave that for in person.

By the time he leaves, he’s running late again, but he’s rather pleased with himself.

..

On the weekends that Erwin tries to get off, he spends the full days with Eren. He doesn’t know anyone else, and he doesn’t bother to try now that he has Eren, so he focuses on that and the time they spend inevitably forces them to open up.

On a Sunday they spend laying in bed, Eren asks Erwin about his family as Erwin pets at his hair. Erwin focuses at a spot on the ceiling, voice quiet and steady. “My father died when I was 8. It was just me and my mother for a long time, until she passed away, as well.”

Eren doesn’t answer immediately, he taps his fingers against Erwin’s bare skin as if trying to put the right words together. Finally, “My mom died when I was little, too. I still have my dad, though. He’s a doctor for some of the poorer families around here.”

“Noble.” He can feel Eren nod against him.

“I don’t think I’m smart enough to do what he does.”

The self-criticism stabs at Erwin and he wants to help, but he’s not entirely sure how nor does he know what to say. “If...it’s something you actually want to do, there will always be a way to get better. If it’s something you don’t want to do and you’re putting yourself down for it, don’t. It isn’t worth it. Doing something different doesn’t make you an idiot.”

Eren reaches for Erwin’s hand and Erwin lets him hold on to it. They don’t move for a long while, not until Erwin’s sure that Eren is asleep; it’s then that Eren asks another question.

“What did you father do?”

“He was a teacher. I wanted to be one as well, I even started the schooling for it, but I felt I couldn’t do him justice, so I found something else I was very good at. Something to make him proud, I suppose.”

“So now you wear suits to work instead of those ugly sweaters they always show on American T.V.”

Erwin laughs. “Something like that, yes.”

Things settle down again until the only noise is the hum of the fan.

“Can I ask what you want to do?” Erwin hopes the question isn’t too invasive, but Eren’s answer isn’t hesitant.

“Become a school teacher. Or paint, I think."

Teaching is something Erwin has a hard time picturing a cocky teenager doing, but he supposes he’s never seen Eren around kids. He knows of a sister and a few neighborhood friends mentioned randomly, but they’re completely different circumstances. Painting, however, Erwin can picture easily.

“I taught myself English so maybe I could teach other people, even if my spelling is sort of bad.”

It’s that sentence that throws Erwin off. It’s said so quietly in comparison to his bold assuredness of wanting to become a teacher, as though it’s something foolish he’s admitting to.

“Have you taught other people English?”

“Anyone who wants me to teach them.”

“Then I think you’d be a very good school teacher.”

..

The Saturday after, Eren manages to get Erwin on the beach, properly on the beach with swim trunks and all. It’s one of the hottest days this month, and even without most of his clothes, Erwin can feel it intensely. He’d gone to pick out swim trunks from somewhere Eren had told him about.

He manages to tease Erwin about everything he owns, only when Eren sees him this time around, he doesn’t say anything. Erwin isn’t sure if that’s necessarily good or bad. At the very least, he knows he’s going to be bright red after this, even if he stays under an umbrella.

He doesn’t, though. Eren drags him off of his beach towel and into the wet sand. The cool softness feels good on his feet even as the rest of him has a dull ache from the heat.

“Maybe it’s better to get all the way in the water, I forget how white you are.”

“That seems difficult to forget, to me.”

Someone near him laughs, but when Erwin turns around to give them an annoyed look, they’re no longer laughing, but Eren is. He holds out his hands and motions for Erwin to join him.

“Come on. It feels good.”

Anything is better than how badly his skin hurts at this point, so he follows Eren in, sighing in relief as the water moves around him.

Eren swims closer and kisses him on the mouth sweetly, which belies his next action. He sets a hand on top of Erwin’s head and pushes him completely under.

Erwin doesn’t look amused when he surfaces, his face dark with anger. Eren looks concerned, like he’d crossed some sort of line, but Erwin has to cover his mouth because he can’t hold back his laughter. He holds both of his hands up a moment later, in a silent apology. “I was only teasing.”

Eren splashes him.

Erwin feels closer to 20 than 40 at this point, and it’s a good feeling, one he hasn’t found in a long while, especially with work. Whatever effect Eren has on him is nice.

“You never said whether my bathing suit is acceptable or not.”

Eren’s smile drops and a blush finds it’s way to his cheeks, making them even darker. “They’re nice.”

They’re short, a little higher than mid thigh and dark blue. They stand out nicely against Erwin’s skin and even though Eren hadn’t commented on it, the looks he gives Erwin means everything. It’s usually Eren who makes Erwin goes a little breathless, but getting to do just the opposite is so surprising that it’s fun.

“You’re blushing.”

Eren splashes him again.

..

“Hey,” Eren whispers to Erwin one night as they walk through the streets past midnight.

Erwin hums, but doesn’t face Eren.

“You should let me fuck you some time.” The way it’s said is so nonchalant that Erwin stops mid-step.

"I'm sorry?"

Eren laughs and squeezes his hand once in reassurance. "I said, you should let me fuck you."

It isn't that Erwin is opposed to the idea, it's just not something he's given much thought to. His sex drive had been low and almost forgotten about until Eren had started to undo his pants the first time they went back to his hotel. It’s still rather low because work often exhausted him, but he had ways to make it up to Eren and Eren never seemed to complain.

"I...suppose." A blush tints Erwin's cheeks.

"So you let me eat your ass, but this is what makes you embarrassed?" Eren has a cocky smile that makes Erwin's blush deepen. "Think about it." Eren doesn't press further, just drags him somewhere that Erwin hasn't been before, a little night club in the corner of the city that Eren wants to try.

Feeling out of place isn't a foreign feeling for Erwin, but it's especially noticeable here with Eren dancing in front of him, smiling at Erwin as he sits at the bar. Erwin feels too big, skin splotched red from the sun amidst pretty faces, but Eren keeps looking at Erwin, even as other people start to dance with him.

Eren laughs and lets them dance before moving away and looking back to Erwin. It's a comforting movement every time Eren changes partners. The knowledge that Eren could have anyone else is a little frightening, but for whatever reason Eren's focused all of his effort on Erwin.

"You look happy," Erwin says as Eren approaches the bar to stand near him. Erwin loops his arm around Eren's waist and Eren settles against him, flagging down the bartender to order something. _Out of breath and happy_ , Erwin thinks.

"I am, tonight's been good." The bartender sets the drink in front of them. Eren steals a kiss and a sip of his drink and slips from under Erwin's touch to wander back on to the dance floor. People stare at Eren and look to Erwin, a silent question in their expressions that Erwin doesn’t even have to answer to himself. He just gives slight smiles and turns his attention to something else.

They wander back to Erwin’s hotel with barely any time to spare before the sun comes up and Erwin knows he’ll be tired for the rest of the day. He showers before sleeping because he knows he’ll be too lethargic to do much in the morning but dress himself.

When he walks out of the bathroom and towards the bed, towel wrapped around his waist, Eren is already under the covers. He’s watching Erwin, though, one arm propping his head up. Erwin continues his routine, looking for clean boxers somewhere in his suitcase, not paying much attention to Eren. Laundry needs to be done soon, Erwin’s let it go a little longer than usual, forgetting to put out a bag for the hotel staff to take.

Grabbing the only pair he can find, he drops his towel and bends over to slip them on.

“Did you think about what I said earlier?”

Erwin shoots up, back straight. Eren’s words break the silence and it startles him.

“About what you said?” Erwin adjusts his boxers and walks towards the bed.

“About me fucking you.”

“Oh.” Erwin runs a hand through his damp hair and runs the request through his mind. He trusts Eren, and Eren’s indulged him completely; it’s only fair to do the same. Besides, the fluttery feeling that fills his chest when Eren asks him again tells him his answer definitely isn’t no.

“You can still say no.”

“I’m not going to.”

It’s Eren’s turn to be surprised, at least a little bit. He takes a moment to process what Erwin’s said before he breaks out into a smile that shows all his teeth. He turns around on the bed, facing the other direction so he can watch Erwin as he climbs under the covers. They’re actually cool tonight; the humidity has dissipated and the fan is working properly.

“We can talk about it when I’m not so tired.” Maybe it’s just him, but Erwin feels his accent is stronger when he’s near sleep. Eren had commented on it once before, whispering Portuguese pet names too quickly for Erwin to understand.

“Boa noite.”

Erwin hums in response. He isn’t sure if he mumbles something in return or not before he falls asleep.

..

Eren rarely texts. Erwin had been surprised when he had finally received a message from a new number one afternoon that just said _i miss you! i will see you tonight!_ but it was so obviously Eren. Erwin still doesn’t expect much, especially when seeing each other after work is guaranteed, so when he feels his phone vibrate in his pocket in the middle of his meeting, it’s either something pressing or acquaintances back in Germany.

When he excuses himself to the bathroom to check on his phone, it’s neither--It’s Eren who’s sent him a message that just reads how about tonight? _What is tonight_? After Erwin taps send, everything in his mind clicks into place, so he composes another message quickly. _Right, Of course. Tonight is fine._

Eren responds with a smiley face and Erwin decides to wander back to the meeting room, trying not to think of what they both are alluding to. It makes the day tick by a little too slow, so when they’re finally able to leave, Erwin adjusts himself in his suit pants and makes his way outside to see Eren waiting for him.

No skateboard today, just one of his oversized tank tops and cut offs. He stands with one hand in his pocket and one on the back of his neck.

"You look excited."

Eren shrugs and takes his hand off his neck to reach for Erwin.

They don’t hurry back to the hotel. They take their time and don’t speak much, but it’s a comfortable quiet, just listening to the people around them and whatever else.

It isn’t until Erwin opens the hotel room door that Eren jumps on him, letting the door slam close behind them as he pushes Erwin towards the bed. The back of Erwin’s knees hit the bed’s edge and he tumbles backwards with a laugh.

Eren makes quick work of his suit pants, slipping them down along with his boxers while Erwin starts to undo his shirt.

“Are you going to keep your clothes on?”

Eren doesn’t respond, but he does step back to pull off his shirt and no matter how many times Erwin has seen and touched him, Eren’s dark nipples make his chest hurt. He daydreams about spending hours tugging on them, biting them and twisting them, rubbing circles over them with his thumbs, but he never lets himself do so.

Erwin shrugs off his shirt and sits up on his elbows, completely exposed for Eren who just seems to take everything in. The longer he stares, sweeping his gaze from head to toe, the harder Erwin gets; there’s just something intimate about it he enjoys.

Eren takes off his cut offs and Erwin nearly chokes--nothing underneath. “Spread your legs.”

Erwin’s eyes shoot up to Eren’s face at the demand as though he’s a bit confused by it. He is, at least somewhat, it just takes some time to process before he follows the words. Eren’s usually the one to take control of these things anyway; he knows exactly what he wants Erwin to do during sex and this wasn’t much different. (Before he leaves for Germany Erwin wants to initiate things, just once at the very least, but he can save that for another time. He even knows he doesn’t have to ask Eren before doing so, but something nags at him in the back of his mind.

He’ll ask eventually, when he’s confident enough.)

“More,” Eren’s words are gentler this time and he places his hands on either of Erwin’s thighs, pushing them open. “Do you just want my fingers tonight?”

“What do you think?”

“Maybe fingers. Until you can take me, at least.”

Erwin swallows thickly and nods. Eren’s cock is small, but proportioned to his lithe body, something he could probably take without too much preparation, but Eren knows better than him, honestly.

Eren gets off the bed for a moment to dig through Erwin’s suitcase. He hides lube and condoms in there, as though he’s too embarrassed to have housekeeping find them around the room. Eren holds what he finds up for Erwin to see and laughs as he jumps back on to the bed.

"Relax."

"I am relaxed."

Eren pets at Erwin's ankle. "No, you're not."

Erwin _humphs_.

"You'll be fine. I promise. You can tell me to stop, okay?" It's a nice reassurance, even though Erwin trusts Eren immensely. Words just make it easier to do so.

Eren sits himself between Erwin's legs, setting the condoms and lube on the covers beside them so he can settle both his hands on the inside of Erwin's thighs again. He runs circles on the warm, pale skin before moving them higher to pet lightly ay Erwin's cock. He gives it a few strokes before pulling away. It's so easy to tease Erwin and make him sigh.

When Eren finally reaches for the condom, Erwin gives a confused look.

"I don't have gloves."

Erwin doesn't put two and two together until Eren rips open the packaging and unrolls the condom onto two of his fingers.

"Oh. Right."

"Just makes it easier."

Erwin nods and urges Eren on, watching as Eren uncaps the lube and warms it up in his free hand. Of course he knows exactly what to do.

When Eren presses two fingers against him, Erwin hisses. The lube is warmer, but not as warm as it could be and he wonders if Eren is ever bothered by that. It's something he feels silly mentioning, so he just shifts his hips and leans his head farther back on the pillows.

Eren pushes further, moving slow so Erwin can relax into him and get used to the feeling. The more time passes, the warmer Eren’s fingers get and the easier he can press into Erwin’s muscle.

“Tell me how it feels.” The look Eren gives is encouraging.

“Just...an odd pressure. It’s better now that your fingers are warm.”

Eren nods but doesn’t look to Erwin face, watching his fingers move deeper and deeper inside of him instead. Eren keeps them stiff until he’s pushed them in to the knuckles, bending them gently then straightening them out once again. This starts out slow, slow enough that Erwin doesn’t feel much difference, but as the movement gets more dramatic, pushing harder against the walls of his muscles, the more Erwin _notices_.

Something hits him; a warmth that makes his breath hitch, one that he doesn’t see coming, and it’s quick, like a pleasurable shock. The next few times, however, it’s drawn out, Eren massaging his fingers inside him in a way that makes his thighs twitch, completely out of his control.

Breathlessly, he tries to comment. “Like that.”

“You’re shaking all over.”

****_Oh_ , Erwin thinks, he hadn’t even realized how bad it was. The wetness he feels on his stomach is his own pre-come, but his cock isn’t fully hard. It’s not something he’s ever been able to do before; he’s never felt this turned on without being completely hard and it takes him off guard. This is a different feeling from his usual build up to orgasm, one that encompasses his full body, not just his cock and warm feelings that build in his stomach.

The look he gives must show his thoughts completely because Eren laughs. “You could come just from this, you know. I could even get you off again after just like that.”

God, Erwin would love to find a way to keep up with Eren, and if this is it…

“Sounds like you like it.”

Erwin isn’t quite sure if he nods, he’s too focused on everything else.

"Want me to jerk you off?"

"No," Erwin stutters. "Just this."

The grin Eren wears is incredibly cocky. He's pleased with himself and how he works his fingers, but Erwin isn't going to complain, not when he's so close to orgasm. He whines deep in his throat and bucks his hips only to have them be steadied by Eren's free hand.

"You don't mumble like you do when I suck you off."

Erwin curses.

"You talk about how it feels, if you want me to take you deeper or maybe use a little teeth. Too distracted for that now? You could tell me to go faster." Eren slides his fingers out slightly before pushing them back in and bending them, hitting right where Erwin wants.

Erwin couldn't speak properly if he wanted to, not nice sentences like Eren wants. His babble would be more incoherent than with Eren's mouth around his cock.

"Think that's a yes."

Eren twists his fingers a little faster and Erwin sucks in an unsteady breath. That's it, that's what he needs.

When he comes, he isn't sure if he moans, he just tosses his head back and lifts his back off the bed--whole body shaking. His eyes squeeze shut and as he tries to come down from it all, he feels random muscles twitch, from his eyelids to the muscles around Eren's fingers, clenching tight around him.

Eren pulls his fingers out slowly, making sure Erwin isn't too sensitive, and he flips the condom inside out, tossing it somewhere. He moves up to straddle Erwin's waist so he can actually reach to kiss him, but Erwin's mouth barely moves against him, completely worn out.

"I want to do that to you again."

..

They spend more and more days at the beach, Erwin's skin less red than it was when he first started to sit out in the sun, like it's finally used to the weather here. Of course, it’s only when he's finally getting a feel for things, feeling comfortable with himself and what he has with Eren that he has almost no time left. These things aren't fair, not to either of them.

Erwin sits on a towel under an umbrella, sweat dripping down his brow and his toes just barely in the sun. Eren is between his legs, skin sticky against Erwin's own.

"I leave in less than two weeks, you know."

Eren stares at his hands. "I know."

“I’ll probably be back again fairly soon. The higher ups have been pleased with everything I’ve done here.”

Eren is rarely at a loss for words, but Erwin isn’t sure if it’s that, or the sense of dread that they both seem to be feeling that keeps Eren from commenting, almost trying to avoid the inevitable.

“You could visit.” Maybe that isn’t the right thing to say. Eren stays silent in response.

Moments pass before Eren finally speaks, and Erwin worries if he's upset him. He hasn’t.

"I'll miss you," is what comes instead of any anger, but it hits hard. It's not something Eren's said before, although they spend so much time together it's implied heavily. Hearing it puts a weight of Erwin's chest and he isn't sure if he likes that or not. On one hand this means as much to Eren as it does to him, but on the other, it isn't something he can just give up.

Erwin has so many other concerns to voice, but he tries to keep them all in. He _could_ visit, of course, but he has a feeling Eren will find someone else and he suddenly feels ridiculous for even mentioning it. Eren is young and handsome and everything Erwin wants; he's bound to find someone else who needs it like Erwin does. Except that makes Erwin feel as though he's using Eren--he isn't. Maybe Eren will take just as long to get over Erwin.

These thoughts keep mixing and his emotions are everywhere. Erwin hates this.

"I'll miss you, too."

Neither ask each other to stay. It's not realistic, and even though Eren is young, he's incredibly mature. So much so it scares Erwin at times.

Erwin pulls his toes in from the sun when his thoughts stop distracting him; they start to burn a little too hot without the shade. Eren gives a short, sharp laugh.

..

They only kiss the night before Erwin's flight, holding each other in bed in thick silence. Erwin leaves a note and a kiss to Eren's forehead in the morning. He always hates waking Eren.

..

Erwin tells only 2 people that he's dating Eren, and even then, they don't chastise him for their differences in age, they chastise him because he doesn't have much time in Brazil. He ignores it of course, until he sees them again and he's somewhat regretting his feelings.

The regret doesn't stem from not liking Eren: it stems from wishing he hadn't fallen so hard and so quickly. They spent most days together and that's what Erwin misses.

Of course his friends tease, but they know he's unhappy, so they don't push it too far, even when Erwin waits for texts that never come.

It takes time to settle back into a routine and he doesn't like it when he finally does.

Germany feels cold, in every sense. His flat is quiet and the heat often splutters, never quite working right and he always forgets to have it fixed, especially when his days at the office get longer and longer.

Still no one but Levi and Hanji text, and they continue to do so, even if he never replies. They tell him he's moping, of course he is, but Erwin sort of feels as though he deserves this time to himself.

They let him be for the most part, except to remind him to take normal breaks from work. He ignores those as well. So, they start to take him out for dinner once a week. It isn’t much, but it forces him away from work and it forces him to interact with them over more than text.

Hanji slides a card in front of him one night. “You should do it, I signed you up. It’ll be fun. Right, Levi?”

Levi coughs and he doesn’t look pleased. He beats on his chest trying to clear his throat after that, rolling his eyes at what Hanji’s laid in front of Erwin.

“Don’t make him do that shit.”

She stares at Levi over the top of her glasses. “You wouldn’t know how it goes, you’ve never been. So shut up.”

Levi snorts but goes back to eating, letting Hanji accost Erwin.

“If you’re going to cry about an ex, try finding someone new. It might help”

Erwin’s expression cools. “He isn’t an ex, but thank you.”

None of them get around much, they rarely date, all focused a little too much on one aspect of work. So, Hanji means well, but a dating service is ridiculous, even from her. He’s glad Levi thinks the same.

“He hasn’t contacted you in a couple months. I think that’s an ex.”

Erwin rolls his shoulders and focuses on eating. He hears Hanji curse and reach down, probably rubbing her ankle where Levi kicks her. Levi doesn’t say much at all regarding Eren. He tries to keep Hanji in check, but it’s all he does.

Erwin wonder if Levi worries about him, especially when he’s been more standoffish than usual during the time he’s been home. Neither of them talk about it, really, both preferring to change the subject. It’s always Hanji who brings it up again.

After dinner, Hanji takes the trains towards her own apartment, slightly buzzed and smiling as she kisses them on the cheek to say goodbye. It’s in the opposite direction of Erwin and Levi, who take one train in the same direction before splitting off.

They’re quiet as they walk into the station side by side and wait for the next train. Levi only starts to speak when they find seats and have the squeaking wheels and flickering lights for company.

“I don’t want you to be an idiot about this, Erwin. He’s 18…”

Erwin cuts him off. “19.”

“18, 19, who fucking cares, my point is, you’re getting stuck on this when you shouldn’t be. It was a only for a couple months. You’re gonna make yourself sick.”

“I think I’m doing alright.”

“Funny.”

“Or I will be eventually.”

“Don’t keep doing this to yourself.”

Erwin runs a hand through his hair and decides not to answer. They go back to sitting in silence until Erwin thinks of something to ask. “How’s Mike doing?”

“Good.” Shrugging, Levi continues. “If you need a break from Hanji, you can come by sometime. Mike won’t mind making an extra plate for dinner.”

“That sounds nice, actually.” He leans back against the seat and closes his eyes. “Wake me up at my stop.”

..

Erwin cleans his flat, which is something he rarely does, especially top to bottom. He pulls out the bedsides tables and sweeps behind the fridge and wonders if he does it only because he can just hear Levi nagging at him. It makes him laugh a little before the thought turns sour. He hasn’t let anyone over for sometime, it’s probably why he’d let his place get into such disarray, but he hadn’t been up for it. He doesn’t know if he’s quite ready yet, but he’s getting better.

Everything takes time, is all, and if this is the first step of something, then he’ll gladly accept that. The blunt advice he’s received hurts, but he isn’t stupid.

When he starts to sweep the floor in the kitchen, the doorbell rings loud. Right, he’d forgotten to put any music on. It isn’t his landlord, that much he knows, his rent has been paid a few months in advance, and Levi and Hanji would both send a quick text before coming over.

He rubs as his face, pinching the bridge of his nose. Cleaning up after himself is one thing, but dealing with people is something completely different. He still decides to open the door.

Eren stands there with his old lighter in his tan hand. "I never really got to return this." It sounds like something he'd practiced saying in front of a mirror or to himself before Erwin answered the door, but Erwin doesn't care. He’s in a scarf and a jacket that doesn’t look nearly as thick enough as he needs.

It's been almost three months and he wants to cry, but he doesn't even think he can. The shock is too much to even process, so he stands there dumbfounded, trying to put his mind back together. Eren is there in front of him.

Here.

"Hello," is all he manages.

"Going to invite me in?"

"Right, of course. Come in."

Before he asks why, Eren answers him.

"I got accepted to school in here. Just...thought I'd say hello."

Erwin laughs and wonders if he had anything to do with that decision or if it was something that had been in the back of Eren's mind since before they met. At this point, he doesn't really care.

“Did you want to do dinner sometime?

“I’d like that.”

“Maybe we can just catch up for now. Sorry for the mess.” Erwin gesture around his apartment, but most of it has been cleaned already. Just a nervous habit, he supposes.

But there’s that smile. “I’d like that, too.”

Before he leaves, Eren stands on his toes to kiss Erwin, lips warm. Erwin wants to ask him to stay, but he shakes the thought. They should get to know each other again, it might be nice.

“Tomorrow night, then?”

“Tomorrow night.”

They have all the time they need.

****  
  



End file.
